I am not big on new years resolutions unless I have something truly inspirational and impacting on mind. I have come to realize that it is one thing to be okay in your comfort zone that includes your friends, family and lovers; all those who are continuous re-enforces of good feelings.
But, it’s a whole new level of okay to be able to do without all the above. Only then can I really say that I am free of all bonds and an intrinsically happy soul. It’s no easy journey and arguably against our instincts, but definitely achievable.
I have decided to hit this from both extremes; so,
I shall not allow myself to feel good at expense of another; in both the positive and negative sense. I shall not pinpoint another’s flaws to minimize mine. I shall not seek unconditional approval from another loved one. I shall be and I shall learn to be. Unique or not; I shall be myself. Live, think and speak freely. Exist and co-exist.
Believe it or not, I actually like University life and anything academic. As shitty and cheap as it can get, I still enjoy how my brain is consistently tickled. Looking back at the last two terms, I almost regret underestimating anything academic and letting it all go. I’m taking back a hold and I love it. After all, it is a feedback system. I’m finding just the right way to prioritize and manage my time to tend to all that I love should it be spending time with friends, working out & running, reading, researching or studying.
No matter what one’s behaviour, the fundamentals don’t ever change. I still enjoy and love what I enjoyed and loved two years ago.
With one more term remaining, I shall hit jackpot this time. Rearranging priorities, I shall live a balanced, healthy and rewarding student life.
Merry exam times.
“…though there maybe such a thing as objective truth, I can never know it; all I can know is that some statements appear to me subjectively to have the qualifications of objective truth. Thus, there is no such thing as Scientific Knowledge; there are only individual perceptions of what appears to each person to be such knowledge” – Rogers
You like that title? I went all "Big Bang Theory" on that shit. They should hire me as their title writer. I'd be awesome. Moving on...
I saw an article recently, announcing that the 2012 Purity Ball was in the works and couldn't wait to reserve a spot for my husband and daughter! She will be wearing a beautiful ball gown and we will adorn her hair with pretty flowers and her father will dress in a tuxedo and they will go and dance together until the ceremony begins.
Honestly, at this moment, I have no energy to waste on an illusion. So thank you for trying; I hope you stay around. We can always be it later. Just because we ain’t deep doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the shallow.
And to the rest of you. Thank you.
It used to take a year to stop loving you. It now takes 10 minutes. Desensitization complete.
I’m pretty sure I have a hoarding problem. I don’t hoard books, animals or other objects; I hoard people and I have a good reason for it. I am selective. I will choose to let you in my life and once I do, you have a green pass to everything. I will let you tiptoe around the edges and even poke my soul here and there. You will get to see every side of me that you chose to see. Now, that’s a lot of leverage. And guess what, I ain’t cheap. In fact, the price is high. If you’re in, you can’t just leave. I’ll find you and make you pay the balance. Straight up.
Now, anyone who likes hoarding souls like I do, needs to learn to emotionally desensitize. It took me a year of hard work to finally grasp it. Chances are you are going to hurt; specially if you’re an emotional person like I am. But hey, it’s a necessary skill. So go learn it if you aren’t born with an innate ability not to give a f*ck.
I woke up and heard it…
This is ultimate freedom. A Sufi without a God. No associations, weightless, entirely faithless. I have no worries. I’m fucking loving this mentality. This is reality. Fucking love it.
Success tastes so f*cking sweet.